I was driving along today...kind of in an oblivious state jamming to my music and pondering life...ya know. Well, I check out the car in front of me and bust out laughing....they have this little propeller chillin' on the back of their car, spinning for all it's worth in the wind. A little bit stupid, but I was tired and it struck my funny bone. The fella drving the "boat" pulled into the next lane and left my eyeballs to be assulted by a big, shiny scrotum.
Yup...you read correctly....Scrotum. The truck in front of me had attached a hot pink, plastic pair of testicles to his hitch. At first, I couldn't figure out what I was looking at...I wasn't wearing my contacts and my distance vision is pretty poor.....I was like "hmmm what is tha-oh my God, it's...noooooo...yupp..yes it is. Lovely." This fellow is a classy man.
Who in there right mind hangs testicles from a truck? We just keep outdoing ourselves. Whatever happened to the stickers "you say BITCH like it's a bad thing" and the little kid who pees all over everything? Now that's classy.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!
What is there to do in Midland after you have hit the mall, gone to the movies and are low on cash?.... Why, head out to defile statues and play on children's playgrounds, of course! Honey, grab the camera!!
We're just too cute...admit it! ;)
Look at this man...Coppin' a feel!
And getting a handful.....Well then! I'd say he's had enough!
Hey! She's not wearing any underwear!
Holding on for dear life......not very comfortable.
And getting a handful.....Well then! I'd say he's had enough!
Hey! She's not wearing any underwear!
Holding on for dear life......not very comfortable.
Too cold to go canoeing? HA!
Peek-a-boo!
Yeah, we're models....where's my Evian??
Check out the reflections......
We're just too cute...admit it! ;)
And So The Madness Begins...
I'm plumb tuckered out folks! Last night was my first midnight shift in the assisted living home. I got there at 11pm and stayed until 7am this morning. The first two hours or so went well...I baked a cake, scrubbed a floor on my hands and knees, folded some laundry, and wiped down some chairs. These were the list of duties I had for the WHOLE 8 hours and I finished them in 2, so I asked my boss what I could do and she didn't really have anything for me to do....she assigned me to wax her cupboards. I didn't ask for anything else to do for fear of what she would request. About midway through my waxing, well, not my waxing.... the cupboards' waxing, she passed out on the couch snoring to beat the band. Ummmm okay, so I will watch TV. Everytime I heard someone stir, I hopped up trying to look busy, not guilty. I'm not really sure if I am allowed to watch TV, but I gotta believe if there is nothing left for me to wax, I am just there for security. From now on, I work midnight shifts on my own, so once I get the work done, I probably just read or watch a movie....good deal...just gotta stay awake. I am scheduled to go back in tomorrow for an afternoon shift and on Sunday for a morning. This way, I will be trained for any shift and will be able to work whenever my boss needs me to fill in...bring on the hours...I'm broke!
After my shift, I went to McDonald's to use the free WiFi they advertise...um LIARS! You have to register, i.e. PAY to use their wireless....that would have been good to mention in the ads, you ding bats. After purchasing a LARGE cappachino, I regrouped and headed over to the school to see mom, laptop in tow. I hooked up to the internet at the school and low and behold...all of the websites I visit are blocked by the administrator for inappropriate content....umm yes, facebook is porn. Actually, now that I mention it, I do remember some girls' halloween pictures.....
Anywho....another internet attempt foiled, I finished my coffee and enjoyed a pop tart while chatting with my mommy. It was a lovey breakfast break that I would have liked to have followed with a nap curled up under a desk in her office. Unfortunately no such luck.
I left the school and headed over to the police department. I had to have fingerprints taken and my background checked....for $65. Makes me wish I had a couple colorful felonies on my record to make that 65 bucks worth the trouble. Oh, and the snotty lady working behind the desk, lovely little peach that she was, informed me that if I wanted to have the information sent to more than one location, i would have to pay ANOTHER $65 for each place. Ummm excuse me?!? Can you say gouging?? GOUGING! Make a dang copy and send that, idiots. I called my second boss and she said to do just that....take the copy they send to my first employer, recopy it, and bring it on over to her....HAHA! So there, coppers!
After my quality time with Midland's finest, (which by the way, are they trained to walk like they sat on a fork? I mean, really.....I have seen lesser waddles from a duck!) I headed over to my second job for a "quick" orientation session. And by quick, I mean 2 and a half hours. I'm thinking the coffee was an EXCELLENT idea.
And now, I am preparing to crash....gonna go home, catch a few z's and then head over to Di's house for a going away party/bonfire. Mmmmm, glorious sleep...........
After my shift, I went to McDonald's to use the free WiFi they advertise...um LIARS! You have to register, i.e. PAY to use their wireless....that would have been good to mention in the ads, you ding bats. After purchasing a LARGE cappachino, I regrouped and headed over to the school to see mom, laptop in tow. I hooked up to the internet at the school and low and behold...all of the websites I visit are blocked by the administrator for inappropriate content....umm yes, facebook is porn. Actually, now that I mention it, I do remember some girls' halloween pictures.....
Anywho....another internet attempt foiled, I finished my coffee and enjoyed a pop tart while chatting with my mommy. It was a lovey breakfast break that I would have liked to have followed with a nap curled up under a desk in her office. Unfortunately no such luck.
I left the school and headed over to the police department. I had to have fingerprints taken and my background checked....for $65. Makes me wish I had a couple colorful felonies on my record to make that 65 bucks worth the trouble. Oh, and the snotty lady working behind the desk, lovely little peach that she was, informed me that if I wanted to have the information sent to more than one location, i would have to pay ANOTHER $65 for each place. Ummm excuse me?!? Can you say gouging?? GOUGING! Make a dang copy and send that, idiots. I called my second boss and she said to do just that....take the copy they send to my first employer, recopy it, and bring it on over to her....HAHA! So there, coppers!
After my quality time with Midland's finest, (which by the way, are they trained to walk like they sat on a fork? I mean, really.....I have seen lesser waddles from a duck!) I headed over to my second job for a "quick" orientation session. And by quick, I mean 2 and a half hours. I'm thinking the coffee was an EXCELLENT idea.
And now, I am preparing to crash....gonna go home, catch a few z's and then head over to Di's house for a going away party/bonfire. Mmmmm, glorious sleep...........
Monday, June 04, 2007
Where Have You Been!?!?
Hello all...I know, it's been ages. Lots of stuff has been going on...here are some blurbs to summarize....
My week at the nursing home went well. I had a good time and really learned a lot. Oh, and I was also called a goddamn whore by a little old lady with dementia and had my behind groped by a gentleman named Willard. All in all, it was an interesting experience. ;)
This last week, I had Meg, Di and Joyce over to hang by the pool for the day. It was WoNdErFuL! We are trying to plan a kyaking trip for this week so hopefully the weather cooporates.
I think we are up to date....be sure to check back, I'm sure lots of interesting work stories will need to be posted. ;) TTFN
My week at the nursing home went well. I had a good time and really learned a lot. Oh, and I was also called a goddamn whore by a little old lady with dementia and had my behind groped by a gentleman named Willard. All in all, it was an interesting experience. ;)
This last week, I had Meg, Di and Joyce over to hang by the pool for the day. It was WoNdErFuL! We are trying to plan a kyaking trip for this week so hopefully the weather cooporates.
Joyce and I...cousin love! ;)
Best friends a girl can have!
Matty and I had serious issues getiing a pic of ourselves...this one's cute tho
I think we are up to date....be sure to check back, I'm sure lots of interesting work stories will need to be posted. ;) TTFN
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